5 Tips for Avoiding Holiday Melt-downs

Parents Beware!  Melt-down season is upon us.

Holidays are the mortal enemy of routine, and when kids get stressed by all of the extras of the holidays, melt-downs, sometimes of epic proportions, are the inevitable result.

This time of year is full of fun extras.  Extra parties, extra food, extra visitors, extra lights, extra noise, extra pressure to be perfect … none of this is routine, but that sense of normalcy is the one thing that our kids crave and need for us to protect.  Finding balance is the key.

So, how do we maintain a peaceful home with all of the extras?  Diligence.

1.  Know your limits, and be okay with enforcing them.  In our house, this is usually clothing related.  If my daughter with sensory processing issues wants to wear a sleeveless dress to our New England Thanksgiving, I let her.  I have learned that a happy child is better than a perfect photo. (Full disclosure – I learned this only by doing it WRONG over and over again, believe me, the picture really isn’t that important.  Honest.)

2.  Guard down time.  My big kids no longer nap, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t need down time.  I have to work really hard to maintain that daily 90 minute window of peace when there are a zillion things on our to-do list, but it makes an enormous difference in everyone’s attitude when we each have a few minutes to re-charge.  The party will still be there if your family is 15 min, 30 min. or even a hour late.  Kids need breathing room.  Feeling as if they are being herded frantically into the car every evening will not help attitudes once they arrive.

3.  Don’t do too much.  This is the hardest thing for me.  I want to go to every party, concert, church service, and event, but my kids just can’t handle it.  Too much is sometimes fun, but usually, it is just too much.  Look at your calendar and be realistic with the invitations you will accept.

4.  Know what calms your child.  For us, this is often simply bringing along a favorite stuffed animal or setting up a corner with a cd player and audiobook.  The key is to have just one set of headphones – it is not a group activity, but a place to get away when the “extra” input becomes too much.

5. Make a routine to discuss the non-routine.  We intentionally review our daily schedule every day after breakfast.  The kids are told what they will need to dress for, where they will be going, how much free time they will have, and any other details I can think of.  For my oldest, this daily review is key to her ability to enjoy special activities.

Holiday chaos can be fun, but don’t let it steal your family’s peace .

Plan to enjoy yourself this season!