I teach my kids a lot of things, but I never considered teaching them hatchet throwing until today. And, for the record, no, I did not faint dead away, although I considered it.
We had a fantastic time with the Minute Men of several regiments in MA, where the kids learned about the Revolutionary War. It was eye opening to see just how differently people lived at that time. It was also eye opening to see how accustomed our ancestors were to danger. The medical “care” alone had us all squirming.
It is so important to learn how to handle dangerous materials properly, how to follow orders amid chaos, and how to build up the confidence that difficult things inspire. It just isn’t always easy to be the mom during all that learning. I admit that I had to close my eyes a few times. Hatchets alone are a bit out of my comfort zone, but flying hatchets? What idiot came up with that idea?
So why did I let them do it? Why put them in a position where they have the potential to fail, and suffer the consequences?
Simply put, it was the right thing to do despite my discomfort. I want to have kids who know that they are capable, and who Strive Toward Successful Failure. I want them to learn persistence, safety, diligence, and all of the other great qualities that come from trying hard things. I want them to experience excitement, discover the unexpected, learn, and grow into a better version of themselves.
That isn’t to say that I find it easy to go outside my comfort zone. Quite the opposite. It is truly hard, but I’m learning that the process of moving away from my comfort zone is simply a matter of placing one foot in front of the other and remembering these secrets:
1. Take a deep breath and admit that uncomfortable is not the same as bad or dangerous. Going outside of our comfort zone makes us physically feel bad. Uncomfortable emotions means that our body is on alert, looking for ways to stay safe. That is a good instinct to have. It reminds us that we need to pay particular attention to the situation at hand. Don’t let that on-alert feeling trick you into believing that you must run away.
2. Recognize that you must, MUST step out of your comfort zone if you (or your kids) are going to learn and grow. If life was only about staying in our comfort zone, we would all still have our 16 year olds sleeping in cribs because we would have stayed paralyzed from the time they were 2 of them falling out of the bed. Silly, right? We learn new skills as we move through life. Avoiding the process of learning those skills only puts us at risk for making ignorant mistakes.
3. Start slow. You don’t need to jump straight into your biggest fear. Begin with making small changes. Experiment and work your way up to bigger challenges.
4. Change your point of view. A comfort zone is a place where there are no surprises or changes. Do you really want to live in that world doing the same old thing, day after day? I don’t. Look ahead and think logically about the potential good that could come out of trying something new. Focus intently on that success.
5. Think back. Reflect on your own learning experiences, or read a book* or two about someone who has successfully overcome a fear. Doing new things almost always starts out uncomfortable, until one day you suddenly notice that you have become confident. Discomfort vanishes with exposure.
3. Intentionally surround yourself with people who are already living a bit outside of their own comfort zone, who share your vision, and who will encourage you along the way. You don’t need a safety net of friends telling you what can’t be done or what dire results could come along some day. That isn’t a safety net, it is an anchor. All of us need a push sometimes, and great friends are excellent at providing that encouragement.
10. Make it a habit. Do something a bit outside of your comfort zone every week. Try an unfamiliar food. Talk to a difficult neighbor. Go to the gym. Let your kids play in a tree. Whatever. Your idea of what is comfortable will expand with practice, just focus on the next step. Soon you will notice that the more you go outside your comfort zone, the larger that zone grows.
The point isn’t to become the next great Xgames star, but to become someone who adjusts well to the unfamiliar, and who is confident in new situations. Are you ready to expand your comfort zone?
We are! http://s538.photobucket.com/user/Libertyhillhouse/slideshow/Muster%202014
BTW – the kids asked that I let everyone know that they made their muskets all by themselves. They are very proud of their handiwork, and I’m proud of the fact that I didn’t faint while letting them use the saw.
*Affiliate Link – This is a great book filled with inspiring stories, but you should be aware that if you click through this link I may, at no cost to you, receive a commission from Amazon for my recommendation. Thanks for supporting LibertyHillHouse!